There is no doubt that when Mr Darcy, alias Colin Firth, stepped onto our screens in Pride and Prejudice he became an icon to rank with James Bond, David Beckham and Clark Gable.  No matter what they say, women of all ages simply adored him.  He was handsome, tall, young, rich, well mannered, well spoken, of a gentle disposition and totally in command.  As we all know, Mr Darcy was a hero from times gone by but just imagine if he returned to modern times and took up life as a forestry contractor.

Mr Darcy

Mr Darcy left home clutching his pack of sandwiches, made up by his Mum (how sweet) and his flask of coffee, and set off for the woods in his run down old pick up truck.  He was all dressed up in his orange helmet, safety leggings and protective boots.  It was raining and the woods were wet and cold but, undaunted, Mr Darcy fired up his chainsaw and began felling trees.

Just has he was getting into his stride along came the forestry manager and demanded to see his public liability insurance and chainsaw certificates.  At this the normally completely cool and in command Mr Darcy lost it big time.  He ranted and raved like a small boy and threw his chainsaw down the wood.  The forestry manager, being a sensible sort of chap, got the general gist of things and headed rapidly in the opposite direction.

When Mr Darcy arrived home that night he was too knackered to go out to the pub with his string of girlfriends and decided to have an evening in watching television.  How times have changed!

Mr Darcy may be a world wide hunk, adored by the female population but, don't worry, here in Shropshire our Trevor, the Craven Arms babe magnet, still rules supreme!

Stephen Habershon is Forestry Consultant to Balfours and can be contacted through Balfours' Offices in Craven Arms on 01588 673314.